Yes, I was brought up in a Christian family, went to church and Sunday School. So why should you read this? Well, neither of those two things made me want to trust God.

Sunday School and church were rituals for me. I went and did my hour or two duty and said grace a few times a week. I even prayed when things got bad. I thought I had cornered the Christian faith, and it didn't really interest me. It seemed like just working to be good all the time, which I felt I was doing quite successfully on my own.

About age 13, I felt like I needed to make a decision. I truly believed there was a God, both intellectually and in my heart. However, I didn't think He wanted to know me, and I wasn't sure I wanted to follow these rules. I was becoming increasingly closed to the idea, ready to give up entirely. In that mood, I issued an ultimatum to God - "Should I follow you or not?" Knowing prayer was the way to talk to God, I prayed that He'd make His answer clear, but still didn't believe it would work.

I don't remember if it was the same night, but one night I woke suddenly at 3 a.m. I was confused, but didn't have time to become scared (I had a serious fear of the dark and people coming to murder me in my sleep) because, seconds later, a voice came from all directions in perfect surround sound. It was the most authoritative - yet loving - voice I've ever heard. It said the words 'Do Not Be Afraid'. Needless to say, I was afraid, but it was what I needed.

I like to think of that incident as my "spiritual 2x4". I certainly didn't expect or ask for anything like that, and that's why it completely blew me out of the water. It took me several days of asking and praying with Christians I respected to check that it actually was from God, not some hallucination. Although inside, I knew it was the real thing. It wasn't an incident that convinced me of God, or that I should follow Him, rather one that brought the real issue to bear. I was afraid to give up control of my life, afraid of what people would think and of the uncertainty.

From that point on, I realized it wasn't about being a slave to a religion. Knowing God was about a friendship with Him, an every day thing that's just as real as any other. I feel such a great sense of direction and purpose. He's given me an abundance of life that I couldn't have even dreamed of. It's not about saying 10 Hail Marys or not working on a Sabbath, it's all about people and our relationships with each other and God.

Don't get me wrong, life hasn't been some harp & cloud 9 merry-go-round. Life has become much more of a challenge than it normally would be, and also very exciting. Going to Uganda as a support missionary was a big step of faith for me, as was going to South Africa in faith to fly a helicopter without any money.

All I can say is that it's real, it is what love really means, and it is for you too.