I was brought up in the English Episcopal church - but in those days almost everyone called themselves "Church of England" whether they went or not. I was baptized as an infant ("Christened"), but stopped attending Sunday School when our family moved to Worcester. After another move across the town, I started going to the local church again, because one of my school friends was there, and I became involved in the Youth Group and even elected to the Church Council. I also became "Confirmed" at 14, as my school was the cathedral school and it was the natural thing. Intellectually, I believed there was a God. Even in the 1960s, when the promises of science were that soon "everything" would be explained and the need for "God of the Gaps" would shrink, I could see that there were some irreconcilable issues. If the "Big Bang" was true, how did that first mass come into existence? and if "Steady State", how were the hydrogen atoms still being created? But if he had to exist as creator, I saw him as distant and not really acting in my everyday world. I was sure that much of the Bible could be reinterpreted as irrelevant for the modern world - particularly the difficult or the demanding bits. I lived in accord with this - no bible study, little prayer (except when I was in trouble), and Sunday church attendance for the social side.
That changed when I went to Uganda at 17. I was teaching in Arua (see Nick's reports of his year there recently) and although not a missionary I was allowed accommodation on the mission station there. For the first time I met real people, totally committed to God, who were expecting their prayers to be answered, including prayers for every day items like the car starting and safe travel; who told of healings; who spoke in tongues; and the Africans I met also confirmed the presence of Jesus in their lives. They even had fun in church and enjoyed 4 hour services! I also found myself defending Christianity to Jehovah's Witnesses in Nairobi, which demonstrated how shaky my own knowledge of God really was. Overall the Christian people worried me a lot, but there was also the West Nile Club and the secular side of life, focused on the bank manager's parties. For a time I could combine the two, but in the end I wanted the same reality of knowing Jesus and walking with Him as I had seen in others there.
I wish I could say that I remember the African night when I gave my life to Jesus. At first, very little happened because being proud I didn't tell anyone there, and so I suffered some relapses which only really stopped when I went back to England to Cambridge. At last I met other young Christians who had proven their faith in their lives, without abandoning their intellects. I met my future wife in a prayer group there, and finally the African experience of knowing the Lord as real and directing lives came real for me.
Since when - has it all been smooth? no. Have I continued to fall? yes, in some cases in very big ways. But He has picked me up every time, and forgiven me - and disciplined and instructed me. He has also taken me places where I did not expect, like going into Wilmington's inner city to reach out to the drug dealers and the other residents. He has used me as an Elder in North England, as a House Group leader in South East England, and is using me in the Missions work of Immanuel here in Delaware. I have seen healings, and signs and wonders - but I am a Christian not because of those but because He is real inside me, walking with me every day.
