Page yourself over the intercom. (Don’t disguise your voice)
Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “IN.”
Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)
Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you’re doing. For example: ‘If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom.’
While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive.
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
Suggest that the Coke machine be filled with beer.
Determine how many cups of coffee is ‘too many’.
Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
For a relaxing break, get away from it all in the fish tank with a mask and snorkel. If no one notices, ditch the snorkel and see how many fish you can catch in your mouth.
Send e-mail messages that advertise free pizza, doughnuts, etc., in the break room. When people complain that there was nothing there, lean back, rub your stomach, and say, “You’ve got to be faster than that.”
When driving friends around, insist on keeping your car’s windshield wipers running during all weather conditions to keep ’em tuned up.
Reply to everything someone says with, “That’s what you think.”
Practice making fax and modem noises.
Dont use any punctuation
As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
Ask people what sex they are.
While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
Specify that your drive-through order is ‘to go’.
Stomp on plastic ketchup packets.
TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
type only in lowercase.
Sing along at the opera.
Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.
Call the psychic hotline and don’t say anything.
When leaving the zoo, run to the parking lot, yelling “Run for your lives, they’re loose!”
Tell your children over dinner, “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”
And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity: Send this e-mail to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this.
