- I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn’t looking good either.
- I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
- Someday we’ll look back on all this, and plough into a parked car.
- Tell me what you need, and I’ll tell you how to get along without it.
- Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.
- Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he/she isn’t there the first time you need them, chances are you won’t be needing him/her again.
- I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
- On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key.
- Everybody is somebody else’s weirdo.
- Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience
