Black holes are where God divided by zero. All those who believe in psycho kinesis raise my hand. Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink? Support […]
Don’t Grow Up
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. Insanity is my only means of relaxation. My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely. Everytime I think about exercise, I lie down til the thought goes away. God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far […]
Dear Tide Detergent
Dear Tide Detergent Company: I’m writing to say what an excellent product you have! I’ve used Tide detergent since the beginning of my married life, when my Mom told me it was the best. Now that I amolder and going through menopause, I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled […]
Product Labels
These are some real product labels: On a blanket from Taiwan – NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists – REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU. On a Taiwanese shampoo – USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE. On the bottle-top of a […]
Live
Work like you don’t need the money. Love like you’ve never been hurt. Dance like nobody’s watching. Sing like nobody’s listening. Live like it’s Heaven on Earth.
